March and Vasectomies: Betting on a Guiltfree Way to Watch the GamesBy: Philip Buffington
Here’s an idea for those thinking about their NCAA Tournament brackets: Before even considering your Final Four, how about deciding your MVP? That would be your March Vasectomy Procedure.
For several years now, men (and women) have recognized the opportunity in scheduling non-emergency medical procedures before long-running sports events. The Final Four is no exception—by scheduling a vasectomy in advance of the first games in mid-March, a man can relax on the couch and watch college ball for days, guilt-free, while getting something very important done (for the whole family).
Nearly 100 million U.S. viewers tuned in to watch the entire NCAA tournament in 2018. Of the 500,000 men who got vasectomies last year, we can say confidently the ones who timed their procedures with the games were smart.
If you are thinking about a vasectomy, you can be among the cheering MVP patients in 2019. But, because the procedure requires a consultation with your urologist in advance, get on the schedule now. Schedule a consultation with your urologist now—before Selection Sunday—and you can plan your vasectomy recovery to coincide with the First Four tip-off on March 19 or the Final Four Championship on April 6.
But first: Be sure you’re ready.
Be a Bracket Buster
Many important factors should be considered before deciding to get a vasectomy, but performance should not be one of them.
So let’s eliminate all misconceptions at the start: A vasectomy will not change your testosterone levels because the procedure does not stop your body’s ability to produce sperm. It simply severs the tubes sperm need to travel through on their passage from the testes, where they are produced, to the penis.
Sexual functions and sensations do not change. There is still even an ejaculate that looks and feels the same, because the prostate and seminal vesicle glands (which produce many of the components of semen) will continue to make fluids.
The only difference is there are no sperm in the fluid; the sperm is withheld and eventually absorbed into the body.
Changing a bodily function requires preparation, however. In the case of a vasectomy, much of that preparation involves planning ahead.
A vasectomy is an outpatient procedure and only takes about 30 minutes. However, you will still need to take it easy in the five to seven days after surgery. These are prime circumstances to watch others play the courts in Hartford, Salt Lake City or De Moines.
Here’s what you should know:
- Jock it up. Bring a pair of tight-fitting underwear or an athletic supporter to cradle your scrotum after the procedure. You’ll be sore, and ice packs or a bag of frozen peas on the incision will help. Your doctor will likely advise that you lie down and rest for six to eight hours directly after the operation. A small, bloody discharge may emerge from the incision site; this is normal.
- Ice it up. You might continue to experience achy, swollen and/or bruised testicles and scrotum for up to a week after the vasectomy, so keep the frozen peas coming. Be patient. Your favorite teams may be headed to Louisville, Anaheim and Kansas City, but remaining couch-bound alleviates being ouch-bound. Continue to avoid strenuous activity, including heavy lifting and sexual intercourse.
- Play it safe. Residual sperm will remain in the patient’s system for as long as a few months after the vasectomy, so you likely won’t be fully sterile until after the bracket wins are announced in Minneapolis. In fact, it will take 15 to 20 ejaculations to clear out the residual reproducing sperm. We recommend using birth control until your physician gives you the green light.
One and Done
Though technically reversible, a vasectomy should be considered a permanent procedure. So be sure.
Have frank conversations with your loved ones and physician. Once you decide the procedure will result in a richer, more satisfying lifestyle based on your planned goals—beyond the Final Four—then you’re ready.
To learn more about vasectomies, you can watch our short video.